You know something, I believe something is terribly wrong with me. I have never in my life mourned for any celebrity. Never. Worse comes to worse, I may have a lingering thought for them for a couple of seconds. And that's it.
But MJ's death, Oh my God! I am still mourning for him until today. Why??? I don't know. Perhaps it's because I grew up with MJ. I bought his every album on the first day it was out. I stuck all his posters in my bedroom wall. I watched each n every one of his videos.
I remember "Black Or White" was released simultaneously around the world. I remember waiting by the TV to watch it. And boy was I blown away!! It was worth it waiting to watch it. The same thing happened with the video "Bad".
I know all of MJ's songs, the lyrics by heart I tell u. I loved him when he was a cute Jackson 5.
I was driving in the morning of 26th June 2009 when I heard over the radio on Hitz FM that MJ has died. At that point in time, they still believed it was a rumour for no official announcement was made. By 7am, I was receiving smses continuously that MJ died. At 7.30am whilst I was on the golf course, Steve called me and I said,"It's MJ isn't it?"
I couldn't wait to get home to watch CNN. For two whole days I sat in front of the TV switching from CNN to BBC to E. All I wanted to see n hear was about MJ, MJ and MJ. By the 3rd day there was still much news coverage.
Why did he have to die? He was such a genius! There will never ever be another MJ. Among the hundreds of artistes that we have had gracing our land, there is no singer who can even come close to him. No one can sing like him, dance like him. His style is something only people can copy n not create. His songs are so magnetic that it tugs at your heart. Like, "U R Not Alone".
My fave is "One Day In Your Life". It makes me so sad when I hear this song. I want to cry.
On the day of his memorial, I went to bed at 10pm and woke up at 1am. I couldn't take it to see his coffin there. Only then it really hit me that MJ is indeed dead. I cried during the memorial. At least I was all alone n able to cry. I didn't like sob to death. I teared. I teared for a man whose songs made such an impact on the music scene. No single singer swept so many Grammies in one award nite. I used to wait for the grammy's because MJ would perform. The grammy's were grammy's because of MJ.Once MJ stopped gracing the Grammy's, it lost its glamour.
Steve n I went for MJ's concert in Stadium Merdeka in 1996. We each bought tickets worth RM400. And we saw him from so far, far away. Well, we still saw him. I bought his History T shirt at the concert. Together with the tickets and T shirt, I framed it up. I hung it in the wall near the telephone. I boasted and showed off to Everyone who came to my house that I went for MJ's concert!!
In 2002, I shifted to another house. MJ's poster laid in my store room for many years. I did not put any poster or picture up because Steve said he wants to decorate the walls with pictures from his travels-which never came. The travels did but the pictures didn't. So up till 2006, I was tired of waiting for travel pictures, i decide to decorate the wall with family pictures. So I took out the gifts I received for house warming n decided to hang them up. By this time, the allegations against MJ was so glaring and the fact that he totally had a makeover didn't go down too well with Steve n I. I must admit, i lost some interest in him but not totally. I wanted to hang the MJ picture in my bar area. Steve said, "No". This is history he said. So I just kept it in my store room. Last year as I was getting rid of clutter, I gave it away to my electrician together with many other pictures and electrical appliances, books, clothes etc. Little did I know that it would be the greatest regret of my life.
I am never the type to ask for things that I have given away but this time I asked the electrician if he still had the poster. He said he did.Then he said that the T shirt was worn by one of his children.
After a couple of days,I stomached the urge to tell him that I wanted it back. I asked him about the tickets and he said that his daughter was having it. I told him,that I will buy his daughter MJ's video DVD in exchange for the T shirt n tickets. He said he will talk to her. I waited so patiently. Nothing came. Then when I asked him again he said that the tickets are lost n the T shirt is in Abu Dhabi with a relative of his. I told him that he was lying to me. He said he will sms the guy to send it back. I told the electrician to go to HELL!!
For now I have accepted the fact that it is gone. Even if he brings the T shirt, I don't want it anymore. Tush just ordered one of his T shirts from Bravado for US 30. But it will never be the same.
Why, why did I give it away?? Why??? And MJ why did u have to go? RIP MJ.......
